C                                           Ab                C

I was walking- down the high street- when I heard footsteps behind me,

    Ab                     C      F           C     F             C

and there was a little old man in scarlet and grey, chuckling away.

                                          Ab             C

Well he trotted- back to my house- and he sat beside the telly,

         Ab                C       F        C       F             C  

with his tiny hands on his tummy, chuckling away,  laughing all day.

[spoken]  "I ought to report you to the gnome office."  "Gnome office, ha,ha,ha!"

Bb9           F7               Bb9                           F7  

Ha,ha,  ha!-  Hee,hee,  hee!-  I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me.-

Bb9           F7               Bb9                           Ab7            F7

Ha,ha,  ha!-  Hee,hee,  hee!-  I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me.-


Said the laughing gnome.

                                             Ab                 C

Well I gave him- roasted toad-stools-  And a glass of dandelion wine.

       Ab                    C              F           C       F              C

Then I put him on a train to Eastbourne and carried his bag and gave him a fag.


"Ave you got a light boy?"  "'Ere! Where do you come from?"

"Gnome-man's land."  "Oh,really."

C                                      Ab                        C

In the morning- when I woke up- he was sitting on the edge of my bed-

         Ab                     C           F           C         F               C

with his brother whose name was Fred.  He'd brought him along- to sing me a song.-


"Alright let's here it?"  "'Ere! what's that clicking sound?"


"That's Fred. He's a metrognome."   "Own up. I'm a gnome, ain' I?"


"Ain't you got a gnome to go to?"

"No! We're gnomads."    "Didn't they teach you to get your 'aircut at school? You look like a rolling gnome."

"Not at the London school of Ecognomics."

C                                            Ab                   C

Now they staying- up the chimney-  and we're living on caviar and honey-

               Ab                 C             F      C         F      C

'cause they're earning me lots of money,writing comedy prose for radio shows.

"It's the er- it's the gnome service, of course."

[repeat chorus and fade]    

LADY RED 21/11/2005 - 9:33:55
I am so glad you have the lyrics to David Bowie The Laughing Gnome! I love this song so much its on my page on myspace! thanks so much!
PHILLIP 21/8/2004 - 19:35:46
Despite my adoration for Mr. David Robert Jones, sometimes I feel he should be forced to listen to this song and its bad puns ... just to keep him a smidge humble.
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